I find myself somewhat lacking in inspiration and yet I feel guilty if I don’t write a blog post every few days. And so … once again, I am resorting to doing a ‘Free–write’ ………..
This always seems to inspire me and, if it doesn’t, at least I have written SOMETHING !
You remember that a free-writing exercise is supposed to be a ‘stream of consciousness’ thing, with no regard for spelling, punctuation or grammar ? And I have set myself a time limit of 20 minutes.
Well here I sit with a blank screen and the black keys of my laptop staring accusingly at me. I don’t know why I lack inspiration. I have so many ideas in my head. I need to do an entry for the countdown word game and i have ideas about a blog post on The Empty nest Syndrome. I have a beauty product to review …more than one in fact and oh all sorts of things. I have been to the supermarket today it was full of Valentine’s Day gifts and flowers and those meals for two which seem to be quite popular now. I think Marks and Spencer began that trend. but I really don’t ever fancy them do you ? There is always something I don’t really care for and not many veggie options. Not that I am veggie as I eat fish. My best friend decided that he would eat anything that he would be able to kill himself. Sort of not asking anyone to do something that he wouldn’t be prepared to do himself. I think that is fair enough, I could kill a fish in fact I have and gutted it etc many times. I have also plucked and gutted chickens, turkeys, grouse and pheasants but I have never killed them. I am paying far too much attention to punctuation aren’t I ? Well not really paying avid attention actually, it just seems to come naturally. It is very hard to let that go I suppose I am so well schooled in those matters. Do kids have the same discipline nowadays. We used to get everything underlined in heavy red ink and ‘see me’ scrawled at the bottom of the page and 100 lines for the simplest mistake. I think they say it restricts creativity or something equally stupid but how the heck can you even read what the child has written if they don’t know the basics of grammar. I guess it would be rather like reading a freewrite hehehehe. When I first began to use my laptop I used to have to look at the keys all the time but now i find I can watch the screen a little more. I don’t know what I think about Valentine’s day oh I know a lot of people , especially on twitter, say that its rubbish and they don’t need a day to prove they love someone and that its too commercialised and blah blah blah. But you only need to make it as commercial as you wish, you don’t have to go the whole 9 yards and have hearts and flowers on every flipping thing do you. it is quite an ancient tradition apparently and not something American like the moaners all say. I remember seeing some simply beautiful victorian valentine’s day cards in a museum. oh they were so delicate, all lacey and lovely and what the heck is wrong with having a special day. Of course its much more romantic when you’re not actually married or when the object of your affection is perhaps not so readily ‘available’ . When secret messages are exchanged and cards bear a waft of perfume and perhaps i have said more than I intended and should change the subject. I really must do that blog post on Empty Nest thingy…..though I am probably the wrong person to have an opinion on that subject. I am certainly not the most maternal woman. Its strange because I have always been very girlie, I love pretty clothes and perfume and makeup and curls and sparkle and handbags and shoes. Twirling in petticoats and piling my hair high and giggly lunches and arms full of flowers. but i have never ever had PMT and sailed through the menopause without so much as a hot flush and a backward glance. All the talk of weird moods and not daring to even pick up a kitchen knife for fear of plunging it into the nearest person is completely alien to me and I really do think that my lack of premenstrual craziness and menopausal symptoms is linked to my non-maternal feelings. And so, though i absolutely adore both of my children there is 9 years between them for a very good reason. And when they finally left home for good I can’t say I was devastated in fact I was thrilled to bits. i had my life back, no more being a taxi service. No more fitting meal-times around ballet classes and after school activities. No swathes of washing and ironing …..what the heck is ironing ? ….and no more staying awake until you hear the key in the lock and the sound of the fridge door being opened. But you must not think that my lack of maternal feelings mean that I didn’t care. it just means that I’m not keen on kids and never never ever find myself cooing over babies and i have never in my whole life felt broody …in fact I don’t even know what that actually means. The sound of a baby crying is anathema to me, akin to the sound of nails on a blackboard or a knife scraping on a plate. I really mean that, honestly. And yet I simply adore my grandchildren ….I would lay down my life for them, no question. But please don’t ask me to say how lovely a baby is or rush up to a new mum and wish to cuddle her child. The thought makes me shudder. I bet you all think I’m simply horrid, don’t you. But I can’t help how I feel. However, before I go because my time is up, let me say one more thing about ’empty nest’ . Though I was thrilled to see the back of them and get my life back, did I stop worrying about them NO I FLIPPING WELL DID NOT … Its much worse now !!